Sunday, May 02, 2004

fake girlfriends!

Hey, you other single guys out there. Do you ever feel lonely? Ever wish for that special someone you could share your thoughts with? Ever feel the need for a simulated long-distance relationship with a woman who would sincerely pretend to care about you? Now you can have it! Just go visit and sign up. More intimate than a blog, cheaper than a prostitute, it's your intermediate-level solution to the need to express yourself. But it's far more than that. These girls will write handwritten letters to you every week, begging for your love and attention. Well, it could be them or their grandmother since they have to get out a hundred copies, but hey, if the handwriting looks feminine, who cares, right? And for that special ego boost, you are encouraged to break up with them like a cad and they will send a couple of more letters begging you to take them back. Simulated power. Yeah.

My favorite is Anaiis , although Julie is really cute and you've got to love Lauren's "do me now" eyes. And Isobel has large breasts, that's not to be discounted. Oh, wait, I'm never going to get my hands on them so I guess breast-size can be discounted. And now that I think of it, since I'm never going to see the girl anyway, I guess I could just have anyone write me the letters and send me pictures of Vanity . I've been having a fantasy relationship with her ever since I saw The Last Dragon.