Wednesday, April 13, 2005

A Meating of Mines, scenes 12, 13, and 14

This is the conclusion of the screenplay Heroes for Hire Episode 2 -- A Meating of Mines.

Scene 12:

Rolf, Zantar, and Lone are sitting on the steps out front of the Lucky Unicorn. They are all pretty battered up and are applying Mysingal's Magical Medicines to their wounds. A dozen empty vials are scattered in the dirt before them. There is a crowd noise growing in the background, but the street is empty except for the three heroes and a ten-year-old boy, Tommy, who is coming timidly toward them.

LOAN: Congratulation lillies, you're heroes.

ROLF: Certified.

LOAN: Huh?

ZANTAR: He means we're in the guild.

LOAN: What guild?

ROLF: The hero's guild, of course.

LOAN: There's a hero's guild?

ZANTAR: We've got a secret handshake and everything.

TOMMY: (wide-eyed) Hey, are you the lillies?

LOAN: What lillies?

TOMMY: The lillies that hired on with the Barkleys and stole their horses?


TOMMY: And now you killed all of the Barkleys?

ROLF: Indeed.

Tommy backs up and runs down the street.

ZANTAR: Kids. That hero worship is a pain.

LOAN: That was Tommy Dwarkins.

ZANTAR: Whatever.

LOAN: If I had to say which kid loved Mimi and Nightingale the most, Tommy would be near the top of the list.

ZANTAR: I don't think so. He wasn't at the picnic so he never even got a taste.

LOAN: Listen.

TOMMY: (in the distance, shouting) It's them all right, they admitted it!

CROWD VOICE 1: ... bastard horse eaters...

TOMMY: ... poor little Mimi ...

CROWD VOICE 2: ... enough rope for 'em both ...

Rolf and Zantar look at each other and the camera turns to focus down the street. The crowd noise is getting louder.

CROWD VOICE 3: ... deserve any better than Nightingale...

Crowd voice4: ... get that noose tied ...

The crowd spills into the street and charges toward the Lucky Unicorn. Loan is by himself. The crowd stops and looks at him in confusion. He shrugs.

Scene 13:

Tommy is running up a small hill with the town in the background. He stops at the top and stares into the distance for a moment, panting. He calls out:

TOMMY: (shouting) Lillies! Lillies don't leave! Come back! We're going to string you up. We're going to gut you like trout. We're going to cut off your...

Scene 14:

Rolf and Zantar are walking down the dusty road toward Heck.

ZANTAR: You think the yokels were out here before us?

ROLF: For the thousandths time, Zantar, I don't know any more than you.

ZANTAR: Cuz if they were going to string us up over the horses, think what they'd do to the guys that paid us to steal them!

ROLF: Heck hasn't been burned, anyway, and it isn't very likely that the Winkelfrankians could have beat us out here.

ZANTAR: Yeah, but even if the Winkelfrankians didn't come out here and string everyone up, The Barkleys could have come out last night and done it. After all, Heck was working for the other side.

ROLF: I know. Look Zantar, just wait till we get there. Don't get yourself all excited over guesses and possibilities.

ZANTAR: Yeah, yeah.

A few moments of silence.

ROLF: You know, I just realized what the Sheriff was so mysteriously trying to convey to us when he bored us with that story about the late pony, Nightingale.

ZANTAR: The pony that saved the town by getting run to death?

ROLF: The very one.

ZANTAR: (shouting) The worthless nag they spent THREE gold on? The stupid ....

ROLF: Focus, Zantar.

ZANTAR: (shouting) swaybacked, WORTHLESS ... (instantly calm) focus?

ROLF: I just realized that the Sheriff was trying to warn us about the potential for an overwrought reaction from the town.

ZANTAR: Why didn't he just tell us that the yokels might get testy over the horses?

ROLF: As to that, I cannot say. No doubt some mysterious rangery thing. Speaking in aphorisms. Communicating in proverbs.

ZANTAR: Sort of like a secret handshake?

ROLF: The very thing.

They walk for a moment in silence.

ROLF: You know, I've learned a valuable lesson from this experience.

ZANTAR: We've got to be sneakier.

ROLF: Exactly. Stealth and subterfuge is the key. Loose lips bring whips.

ZANTAR: Talkative dopes bring ropes.

ROLF: Precisely.

Zantar suddenly stops, staring toward Heck. The street looks bleak and empty but there are a couple of dwarves on the boardwalks.


Zantar breaks into a run and Rolf easily keeps pace with him.

ROLF: There's nothing we can do, Zantar!

They run for a bit more.

ROLF: I warned you not to get your hopes up.

A bit more running.

ROLF: There will be other opportunities, Zantar ...

They run into the street. Zantar stops at an overturned picnic table, looks around, then falls to his knees, clawing at the sky and gives a huge bellow of anguish.


The camera shows Zantar from the top, zooming back to show the whole street, where suddenly a crowd of dwarves appears from the buildings and gathers about Zantar. The camera snaps back down.

GRIMEY: What's wrong, Zan?

ROLF: The people from Winkelfranks tried to lynch the two of us over those horses.

GRIMEY: Oh, yeah. They were pretty upset about it.

ZANTAR: (very emotional) So we ... we thought...

GRIMEY: You thought they came out here and burned the town down and killed all of us.

ZANTAR: (nodding, in great emotional distress) Yes!

GRIMEY: And since they didn't know we have silver ...

ZANTAR: (a wail of anguish) It would just be laying around, waiting to be picked up!

GRIMEY: (sympathetic) Sorry, Zan. We're all still here.

ROLF: Well, I'm glad that's settled. Let's go, Zan.

ZANTAR: It's just... it's just ... all that silver ...

GRIMEY: I know Zan, I know (pats Zantar on the shoulder). But don't give up. Everyone here talks about how you're so much smarter than the rest of us. You still could cheat us out of it some day.

DISREPUTABLE DWARF 1: Or heck, Zantar, you could even trick someone into telling you where it's hid and then you could steal it. (murmurs of agreement from the crowd)

ROLF: Why do I have an urge to draw my sword and start hacking randomly?

GRIMEY: See Zantar? (squeezes his shoulder affectionately) There's lots of ways you could still get your hands on that silver. Why just an hour ago (looking up to the crowd as he speaks) we were talking about your idea to let you hold on to some of it for us to, like, keep it safe. Maybe you could still talk us into that! (more encouraging murmurs from the crowd).

ZANTAR: (sniffle) You really think so?

There are lots of "yeahs" and "sure things" and a "sure, we're stupid" from the crowd and several hands reach out to pat him on the shoulders.

ROLF: OK, that's adorable. Let's up and at 'em Zantar! Don't want the pleasant folk of Winkelfranks to discover us dallying about.

PICNICKER 1: Hey Zantar, explain that thing about the two different kinds of stake again!

ROLF: Merciful Fates, No! I mean, our lives are endangered here Zantar, let's MOVE.

PICNICKER 2: I asked a wizard about it and he said there aren't any spells to turn a wood steak into a horse steak or vice versa.

ZANTAR: (patiently) See, it's not two kinds of stake ...

Rolf then falls to his knees, clawing at the sky and gives a huge bellow of anguish.


The camera angle is from above, as when Zantar screamed in anguish, the dwarves are ignoring him. Zoom back and fade to black.

The End.

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