SpaceMonkey told me what date I was supposed to host and I ignored it because I figured he would have to send me the information to host it a few days before the Carnival. Why should I watch the calendar when he had to watch the calendar anyway? Well he got distracted by this little hurricane in his neighborhood, totally forgetting about our needs as comedy consumers. Fortunately, I saw a visit from someone who was announcing the Carnival and that led me to investigate only twenty-four hours later, to realize that I was in fact supposed to be hosting it this week, and well, things just went downhill from there.
First of all, did you know there isn't a computer program or anything to put all these entries together into a Carnival post? I had to do it by hand. They didn't even assign me one of the IMAO secretaries to help me out.
Second of all, I had to read all of these posts to rate them and filter for content. I work for a living! I don't have time for that!
So anyway, here you have it: my best late-night effort. Content warnings are in bold, my witty comments are in italics. I caution you that if you want to see the actual funny posts, you have to follow the indicated links. My witty comments are not the point of the Carnival, although you might be excused for thinking otherwise.
The next two Carnivals are
Week 19 - Sep. 8 - Rapid Politics
Week 20 - Sep. 15 - Either, Orr
Oh, and the terms of my Carnival-hosting contract require me to provide links to IMAO the Creator of the Carnival, and to the IMAO Podcast page although I don't even know what podcast is.
If you would like to enter a funny blog post in the Carnival of Comedy, first write a funny blog post. Then go to the new and actually there IMAO Carnival page for further instructions. Or you could just post your entry at Conservative Cat's generic carnival thingy.
Ironman at Political Calculations presents Flying the Friendly Skies (Part 1)
Funny things flight attendants have said that they didn't get sued for.
Josh Cohen at Multiple Mentality presents Protest Songs
Look out. Here come's an "s".
Elisson at Blog d'Elisson presents Speaka Da Language
You have to read all the way to the end.
mensa barbie at Mensa Barbie Welcomes You presents Signs of Your Politics
Skinny piggy banks are funny.
Remulax MoxArgon at The MoxArgon Group presents Episode #4: Time to open MoxArgon's Mail-Sac!
[insert funny comment later]
The Evil Emperor Mindstation at Point Five presents Sharper Image Introduces Ionic Breeze For Rifles
Couldn't you just hang one of those car-wash smelly thingies from the trigger guard?
Funny, just not laugh-out-loud funny
Miriam at miriam's ideas presents a long-lost letter from John Roberts
I shudder to think what Senator Kennedy will do with this.
Fitch at Radioactive Liberty presents Terrell Owens: Will Work For Food
I don't get it but the pictures are kind of funny.
Mr. Satire at satire.myblogsite.com/blog presents Venezuelan President Offers Free Gasoline and 10% Discount On Brain Smog Check To Americans
naughty picture alert
Everyone loves a good joke about a Venezuelan dictator.
Harvey at Bad Example presents THIS IS JUST WRONG, SO MIGHT AS WELL GO WITH IT
How about: "Only babies worry about traffic"?
Mr. Right at The Right Place presents The U.S. Constitution - A Liberal Interpretation
There might be some really funny jokes in there but I didn't read the whole thing. I feel kind of bad because Mr. Right obviously put a lot of work into it, so all of you guys go and read the whole thing for me and tell me there were some really funny parts
Big Picture Guy at Big Picture, Small Office presents Crunch Time
The philosophy of snacks.
Dr. E. Scientist, phD. at Where's the Kaboom? presents Why do they hate us?
If the post had stopped after the first few paragraphs it would have gone in the "Really Funny" category.
Holly Aho at Soldiers' Angel - Holly Aho presents A Death Clock? Get your date of death! Bwaa ha ha ha
A funny story about over-simplified logic in a computer program. No, really.
Kid Various at The Idiom presents God does USA Favor. Wipes Last Vestige Of French Culture Off Map.
naughty picture alert
Everyone loves a good joke about a disaster that kills dozens of people.
a4g at Point Five presents New Accusations Surround Lance Armstrong
Getting tired. Smart-alek comment faculty on the fritz...
Two Dogs at Mean Ol' Meany presents Romance - The Two Dogs Way
The philosophies of powerlessness.
Mondo at Mondo Blog presents Mondo Goes on a Furlough
In the movie, Mondo will be played by Peewee Herman in a fat suit.
Ricky at In Search of What's Next presents Why do we do dumb things?
Personally, I do dumb things because I enjoy the challenge of thinking up a good explanation afterward.
Hatcher at Ideas Hatched presents Spammers Love Me
... and Hatcher obviously loves spammers.
Dr. Phat Tony at Dr. Phat Tony's presents Just Because
Shouldn't that be "Dr. Tony Phat"?
Citizen Grim at Right Hand of God presents Photographic Evidence Tying Bush to Hurricane Katrina
Mr. Grim really needs to take some classes on Photoshopping or something.
Damian G. at Conservathink presents Conservathink Poetry: Cindy Sheehan the Loon
Some of those words don't actually rhyme.
David Hadley at The Trouser Quandary Resolution presents The Nipples of an Expert
adult theme. I think.
David Hadley promises that this will make sense some day. I think he lies.
Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents Top 9 Little Known Ethnic Stereotypes
naughty word alert
There's a joke in there somewhere, struggling to get out.