Tuesday, June 24, 2008

am I paranoid?

I was just chowing down on a 7-eleven steak-and-jack-cheese taquito when I tasted something kind of funky. I was about to swallow to get the taste out of my mouth but then somewhere deep in the back of my mind, registered the fact that this strange taste was not food. It was a sort of chemical taste familiar yet unfamiliar, as though I had smelled it before but never tasted it before. I spit out the food in my mouth but still tasted the stuff, so I went to the sink and washed out the taste.

Then --this is where I think I might be a little paranoid-- I started thinking about people who had been poisoned by store-bought food, I spent the next five very unpleasant minutes trying to thoroughly empty my stomach contents.

The portion that I spit out of my mouth is now sitting on my kitchen counter instead of in the trash. If I wake up dead in the morning, the forensic geniuses will find the taquito and identify the poison and use some fantastic new method for raising fingerprints from chewed food and catch the bastard.

So, what should I do? Call the cops and turn in the half-chewed taquito or just admit that I'm being paranoid and let it go?

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